Middlesex-Journal+Entry+11


 * The oracular vulva & Looking myself up in Webster's**

Pg 401: Karyotype- the number and appearance of chromosomes in the nucleus of an eukaryotic cell. The term is also used for the complete set of chromosomes in a species, or an individual organism (wikipedia) Pg 407: Priapus- a minor rustic fertility god, protector of livestock, fruit plants, gardens and male genitalia. He is marked by his absurdly oversized, permanent erection, which gave rise to the medical term priapism (wikipedia). Pg 408: Kaspar Hauser- A German youth who claimed to have grown up in the total isolation of a darkened cell. Hauser's claims, and his subsequent death by stabbing, sparked much debate and controversy. Pg 425: Anatolian- a geographic and historical term denoting the westernmost protrusion of Asia, comprising the majority of the Republic of Turkey (wikipedia). Pg 434: Raquel Welch- American actress, author, and sex symbol (wikipedia).
 * Definitions:**

Dr. Luce- I do not like Dr. Luce at all. He is very fake and yet secretly intrusive. He does not care about Calliope but is only using her for his own gain. He asks her very personal questions and does not truly present the full story. He tells her parents things that are not completely true just to make the situation seem better, because he believes parents can not handle this type of news. I thought it was really disgusting when he makes Calliope watch the pornography with him and the way he speaks to her seems vulgar (418-419). He brings in other Doctors to look at his patient, whom he sees more as a study or project. This makes Calliope feel uncomfortable. He also brings in a photographer to take a picture of her body. He does not seem trustworthy at all and he diagnosis Calliope as a girl, when in reality she comes to realize she is or should be a boy.
 * 5. Reaction to a character**

-Pg 430, definition of hermaphrodite -Pg 431: "//Monster.// That was what she was. That was what Doctor Luce and his colleagues had been saying. It explained so much, really. It explained her mother crying in the next room. It explained the false cheer in Milton's voice. It explained why her parents had brought her to New York, so that the doctors could work in secret. It explained the photographs, too. What did people do when they came upon Bigfoot of the Loch Ness Monster? They tried to get a picture. For a second Callie saw herself that way."
 * 4. Quotation**

Callie is extremely lost. She does not know what is going on and I do not like the way her parents are handling the situation. She believes their is something terrible wrong with her but she is not sure what. When she sees herself as a monster, she believe it explains all that has been happening lately. She truly believes she is a monster. I think her unhappiness and confusion is really a result of the way Milton and Tessie have treated the situation. Even though it is a bad situation in general, I think their reaction has made it even harder. They will not talk about her "problem" and shield a lot from her, almost seeming embarassed. They are treating her like a little kid. When Calliope reads this definition, she really believes she is a monster because of the way her parents have been reacting to the situation.

Two words that became important to me were love and hate. I always knew what these words meant but I did not truly understand the meanings until I was a little older. When I was younger, every night my dad would come into my room and talk to me. He would ask me every night, "What do you want to be when you grow up?". I would always dread this question and pretend to be asleep but he never fell for my act so I would finally respond with my annoyed, "I don't knowwww". He would go on to tell me that I can be anything in the world that I want to be. He would list all types of professions, including ones that were not typically female roles. He would tell me that I could accomplish anything I wanted to in my life if I worked hard and put my mind to it. He would then go on to tell me he loved and and would say goodnight, but I would never respond to this. When I was about 6 or 7 years old I began to really take into account that boys had cooties, including my dad. I never told him I loved him because he was a boy and I obviously could not say that to a boy! One particular night, my family was in Tortola. We went to a restaurant on the beach to celebrate my birthday and after dinner my dad spent the whole night dancing with me, letting me stand on his feet, to the live reggae band playing. When we returned to the house, my mom was busy with something and asked my dad to help me get into my pajamas and get ready for bed. When he tried to get me to change into my pajamas, I refused. In my mind, he was a boy with cooties and could not see me naked. When I wasn't cooperating he asked me why I wouldn't let him help me. I didn't know how to respond, because my true reasoning would have sounded ridiculous, so on impulse I said "Because you're a boy and I hate you!". I didn't understand the meaning of the word hate. My dad was extremely hurt and told me that I could find a new dance partner as he left my room. I felt really badly for what I had said and was very upset, especially about losing my dance partner, but I never apologized. I didn't think it was important. A year and a half later my dad passed away due to a brain aneurism. It was unexpected and I had not seen him because he has been on a business trip for the last week. All I could think about was the night in Tortola when I had told him I hated him and all of the nights that I dreaded when I failed to tell him that I loved him. After this experience, I truly realized the meaning of the words love and hate. I learned that time with loved ones is the most important thing in life, because you never know how long that time is going to be. These two words became very important to me because the meaning of both became very clear.
 * Describe a time when a particular word became important to you. Was there a situation that made it so? Or was there a time when you felt limited by words and wished that you could make up a word to describe the way you were feeling?**